Understanding Life!

I have been thinking about things a lot lately. I use to think I understood life as much as I could.....I believe I was wrong. I am NOT saying by any means that I am unhappy with life. I love life and how it turned out. What I am saying is....Life is like a open ended book that at one time I thought that I had read, well. Not to my surprise I think I was a very innocent girl until I realized that somethings happen for a reason that we don't understand at the time, in time we do understand of course after the fact as always.

There are a few things that have happened in my life that have made me choose the side roads that I have. I am not proud of some things I have done or people that I have pushed away from me, however I am responsible enough to understand what I have done. I also have learned from everything I have done......I do however stick to the fact that I have done everything in my life for a reason.

I might not be the same person I was 10 years ago but everyone changes and I believe it was for the best I have change. My views have changed about certain topics in the last year....I am not sure if this will be a good thing or not.


As one amazing women said.....  "Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." Marilyn Monroe

Birthday!!!

Well mine and the hubby's birthday is tomorrow.....its crazy to think we will be 23 already! This birthday will once again will be different due to no hubby here and me having no set plans of any kind (those of you who know me I am a planner) oh well tho! I am gonna take the day as it comes and hope friends show me they care enough to remember one of the fews days that mean something to me.

Love always

Sarah

Not getting my way!

So for what I believe is the first time I have not gotten my way. I have been trying to get clay to let me get  cable so I have something to do before work during the week. It didn't work he has no but he is smart enough to try to bargain with me. I am to think of something I would like if I would not be able to get cable...I just laughed there is so much I want especially for the house.

I have gotten him to let me paint the spare room and of course we actually agreed on the same color which is amazing in its self.

Love Always

Sarah

A little sad :(

Well once again the hubby will be gone on our birthday due to working outta town. It makes me a little sad because its one day we are able to celebrate together as our day.....it never feels like my birthday without him next to me since we meet! I know I have tons of friends and family that love me and are willing to spend the day with me.....its just not the same! I hate not having a bday wish come true :( I love you hubby!

Love Always

Sarah

Job?!

I have been on this kick lately that I would like to own my own bakery/coffee shop of course it would be a all natural and gluten free options bakery. Not sure it will ever happen but its a dream goal that I will be working towards as of right now!

Well I made it short and sweet......off to bed!

Love always

Sarah

*Sigh of relief*

Well I am a little less stressed at the moment....why you ask....well I finally went ahead and did the Nero implant yesterday. I was a little shocked at how it was done. I did get a rushing headache about than hour afterwards but I assumed it was due to the amount of medication going into my body at one time. My arm was a little sore and still kinda is today but that is a small amount to pay in the long run. I will not have to think about birth control for the next 2 1/2 years....one thing off my mind is like giving my brain a weeks vacation. I will also be very happy not to have to tell my husband "sorry I forgot to take my pill" I always felt so bad like.....I was always scared he would think I was doing it on purpose which I NEVER did.

That brings me to a funny topic. I wanna know how girls out there lie to their partners about taking birth control. I would feel so horrible if I would first lie to my husband then second try to trap him into something he is not ready for. OK I will answer the million dollar question.....Yes someday I would like to have a baby...that's SOMEDAY not anytime soon.....I refuse to force Clay into anything I believe he is not ready for.(I might have sorta kinda forced him into getting married a little earlier but I truly believed he was ready and wanted to. Had to throw that in there.) I guess it just be that I would never want to loose Clay and I know if I got pregers right now He would always think I did it on purpose or I allowed it to happen.....So now there will be no blame if I would get pregers. I know my mother wants to have grand babies so bad and sometimes I think I would disappoint her if I don't have kids but then again I know she loves me enough to understand that its not just my choice. I would also not want to bring a baby into this world when I could not give it everything it would want. I give total props to all the mothers in this world who always put their kids first and themselves last. I know as for right now I could not raise a baby without some regret of not living my youth. I know for a fact we would not be able to give that child everything that it ever wanted right now.....We are by no means pinch pennies but we are not prepared to feed another mouth(I already have to feed Clay which is like feeding 2 people). I however do not by any means doubt that our friends and family would help us out in anyway they could....That is why we love our family and friends but it is just really not an option at the moment.
I am done talking now that my hand hurts.

Love Always
Sarah