*Sigh of relief*

Well I am a little less stressed at the moment....why you ask....well I finally went ahead and did the Nero implant yesterday. I was a little shocked at how it was done. I did get a rushing headache about than hour afterwards but I assumed it was due to the amount of medication going into my body at one time. My arm was a little sore and still kinda is today but that is a small amount to pay in the long run. I will not have to think about birth control for the next 2 1/2 years....one thing off my mind is like giving my brain a weeks vacation. I will also be very happy not to have to tell my husband "sorry I forgot to take my pill" I always felt so bad like.....I was always scared he would think I was doing it on purpose which I NEVER did.

That brings me to a funny topic. I wanna know how girls out there lie to their partners about taking birth control. I would feel so horrible if I would first lie to my husband then second try to trap him into something he is not ready for. OK I will answer the million dollar question.....Yes someday I would like to have a baby...that's SOMEDAY not anytime soon.....I refuse to force Clay into anything I believe he is not ready for.(I might have sorta kinda forced him into getting married a little earlier but I truly believed he was ready and wanted to. Had to throw that in there.) I guess it just be that I would never want to loose Clay and I know if I got pregers right now He would always think I did it on purpose or I allowed it to happen.....So now there will be no blame if I would get pregers. I know my mother wants to have grand babies so bad and sometimes I think I would disappoint her if I don't have kids but then again I know she loves me enough to understand that its not just my choice. I would also not want to bring a baby into this world when I could not give it everything it would want. I give total props to all the mothers in this world who always put their kids first and themselves last. I know as for right now I could not raise a baby without some regret of not living my youth. I know for a fact we would not be able to give that child everything that it ever wanted right now.....We are by no means pinch pennies but we are not prepared to feed another mouth(I already have to feed Clay which is like feeding 2 people). I however do not by any means doubt that our friends and family would help us out in anyway they could....That is why we love our family and friends but it is just really not an option at the moment.
I am done talking now that my hand hurts.

Love Always
Sarah