What reading does to me!

I have been reading a book from my favorite author Jane Green. It makes me think about how we unknowing sometimes choose our own fate. I could have gotten married and have at least two kids by now....but I deiced to be with my husband. I may not have kids right now but I do have a wonderfully fulfilled life knowing my husband and I are truly in love. How you ask....when he touches me I get chills.....when he kisses everything stops around me.....when he holds me I wanna melt away....when he looks at me I feel like his eyes only ever see me. Well now that I have made myself cry back to the book.

The book is really good I have it almost finished.

So if you get a chance to read any of her books you should they are very witty and cute!

Love Always

Sarah

Me thinking again!

Scary I know.....I just have had soo many thoughts running through my head as of lately. Some things about the past concerning old friends some things about the present job and friends. Part of me thinks I strive too much for perfection with things then I probly should....part of me thinks I slack off too much! I will admit I am not the kinda person to just go with the flow if I want things to go a certain way. I do need to be in some sort of control even if its something little! Maybe its because I am extremely over tired but some days I wonder if I would have turned out any different if I tried a little harder or pushed myself even more. My answer is no I don't believe it would be any different then now. Guess I will never really know.

How come I am so scared of failure?


Am I scared of being forgotten....being unknown......not worthy! Not sure....all I know is sometimes I try to pretend I know what's going on to fool myself into believing I am something great.... just to keep myself going!

Well I should head to bed!

Love Always

Sarah

Weight

I have been dealing with my weight since freshman year in high school. It has hit me since my birthday how much weight I have put on since senior year and it makes me angry on top of sad. Well....I don't wanna hear peoples judgements. I get enough on a daily basis much less from people I know. I know I have not always helped the cause but I wouldn't by no means call myself LAZY. I have been doing yoga and walking but I haven't lost a pound......sad which is why sometimes I just dont care. I know it will always be a struggle till probly the day I die.

Maybe one day I will find something or someone that will actually push me to do what I need to do to loose the weight I am suppose to.......maybe just maybe!

Love Always

Sarah

Understanding Life!

I have been thinking about things a lot lately. I use to think I understood life as much as I could.....I believe I was wrong. I am NOT saying by any means that I am unhappy with life. I love life and how it turned out. What I am saying is....Life is like a open ended book that at one time I thought that I had read, well. Not to my surprise I think I was a very innocent girl until I realized that somethings happen for a reason that we don't understand at the time, in time we do understand of course after the fact as always.

There are a few things that have happened in my life that have made me choose the side roads that I have. I am not proud of some things I have done or people that I have pushed away from me, however I am responsible enough to understand what I have done. I also have learned from everything I have done......I do however stick to the fact that I have done everything in my life for a reason.

I might not be the same person I was 10 years ago but everyone changes and I believe it was for the best I have change. My views have changed about certain topics in the last year....I am not sure if this will be a good thing or not.


As one amazing women said.....  "Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." Marilyn Monroe

Birthday!!!

Well mine and the hubby's birthday is tomorrow.....its crazy to think we will be 23 already! This birthday will once again will be different due to no hubby here and me having no set plans of any kind (those of you who know me I am a planner) oh well tho! I am gonna take the day as it comes and hope friends show me they care enough to remember one of the fews days that mean something to me.

Love always

Sarah

Not getting my way!

So for what I believe is the first time I have not gotten my way. I have been trying to get clay to let me get  cable so I have something to do before work during the week. It didn't work he has no but he is smart enough to try to bargain with me. I am to think of something I would like if I would not be able to get cable...I just laughed there is so much I want especially for the house.

I have gotten him to let me paint the spare room and of course we actually agreed on the same color which is amazing in its self.

Love Always

Sarah

A little sad :(

Well once again the hubby will be gone on our birthday due to working outta town. It makes me a little sad because its one day we are able to celebrate together as our day.....it never feels like my birthday without him next to me since we meet! I know I have tons of friends and family that love me and are willing to spend the day with me.....its just not the same! I hate not having a bday wish come true :( I love you hubby!

Love Always

Sarah