Christmas eve outfit!

It's a last thought but thought I would post my cute cute outfit!

Merry Christmas to all!

Love Always

Sarah

Going back!

Well I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Is it possible to mend a broken friendship? There are somethings I would possibly change but then again things happened for a reason right? Thinking about it a lot around this time. I always want to be the person to try to fix things but I am unsure this can either be fixed or received with an open mind.

I always feel that yes it is partly my fault, some of it is theirs as well. Its hard to say but maybe we were never ment to be in each other lifes for a long period of time. Some people come and go! I have had a lot of people come and go but I have learn at least something from that person weather small or big! They have had a impact on my life no matter how long they were on the same path as I.

So I guess I have really answered my own question. Sometimes we need to let go and contuine to move forward unless both have the same feeling and willing to work hard at it!

Love Always

Sarah

Xmas!

So I have had most of my xmas shopping done for a while now. I unfortunately have the hardest people left....my husband and father in law and a close friend!

I also have yet to get out my xmas cards..I am thinking within the next week I should.


I am also behind in decorating I have some up. I am still in debate of weither or not to put it up due to the cats well vince.


Love Always

Sarah

Turkey day outfit!

My thanksgiving day outfit!

Love Always

Sarah

Vincent!

Vincent a lil high on catnip

Love Always

Sarah

Looking back

I have for some reason having more and more thoughts about my childhood. I remember so much from Faith...I remember how much I loved my teachers....miss.Sprengeler, Miss. Olson(now Mrs. Muller), Mr.Hay! Theses are some of the people that helped me become the adult I am today. I don't think I ever really thanked them for always helping me without me even asking. Now I could never forget Mrs. Hansen.......the best ever.......she helped us with reading books and projects.

There are so many memories I have from Faith....like hot lunch Friday in the newly built gym,Making decorations for Christmas, field trips to the capital and childrens museum.

Well that's all I have for now

Love Always

Sarah

New found self worth!

So I have been feeling good about myself and my body lately. Why you may ask.......I truly believe it has a lot to do with new clothes, new shoes and new hair cut!

I am not saying that these things are only the reason I feel good but I think they have shown me I am sexy no matter my size!

Love Always

Sarah

My new feel sexy item!

I got theses while on sale......so I picked them up for close to nothing! When I put them on I feel like a million bucks!

Love Always

Sarah

Haircut...clothes....girls best friends!

So I think I may have found a hair cut that I like and can style every day by myself. Not to mention that the stylist did excatly what I asked for!

So I went to torrid today and scored myself two pairs of jeans for a total of 30 bucks! Love myself a great deal. I also got some nice patterned tights!

So I am super excited to see my hubby tomorrow .....missed him a lot today!

Love Always

Sarah

Changes?!?

Well I am not sure why but there are things I like to change up every once in a while. This brings me to a change I have been thinking about lately......I wanna see if I could sell my body scrubs maybe homemade soaps as well. I have been looking into it for a few days now.....would not start till after the new year but not sure. I have been looking for things I could do to possibly allow me to go down to part time at work(I know I would loose my position) to allow me to go back to college to finish up my last 6 credits. Not to mention I need a change soon from the same old day to day grind.

Maybe I am just trying to achieve something so bad I don't care how I get there. Unsure....would be why I am scared of failing!

Love Always

Sarah

Halloween

So Halloween has become one of my favorite holidays within the last few years. I love how you can dress up as anything and for a moment you can pretend to be someone else. I did not get to go out with friends this year but I still enjoyed myself!

I wanted to share my favorite Halloween movie of all time......hocus pocus! I love love this movie not sure why.

Love Always

Sarah

What reading does to me!

I have been reading a book from my favorite author Jane Green. It makes me think about how we unknowing sometimes choose our own fate. I could have gotten married and have at least two kids by now....but I deiced to be with my husband. I may not have kids right now but I do have a wonderfully fulfilled life knowing my husband and I are truly in love. How you ask....when he touches me I get chills.....when he kisses everything stops around me.....when he holds me I wanna melt away....when he looks at me I feel like his eyes only ever see me. Well now that I have made myself cry back to the book.

The book is really good I have it almost finished.

So if you get a chance to read any of her books you should they are very witty and cute!

Love Always

Sarah

Me thinking again!

Scary I know.....I just have had soo many thoughts running through my head as of lately. Some things about the past concerning old friends some things about the present job and friends. Part of me thinks I strive too much for perfection with things then I probly should....part of me thinks I slack off too much! I will admit I am not the kinda person to just go with the flow if I want things to go a certain way. I do need to be in some sort of control even if its something little! Maybe its because I am extremely over tired but some days I wonder if I would have turned out any different if I tried a little harder or pushed myself even more. My answer is no I don't believe it would be any different then now. Guess I will never really know.

How come I am so scared of failure?


Am I scared of being forgotten....being unknown......not worthy! Not sure....all I know is sometimes I try to pretend I know what's going on to fool myself into believing I am something great.... just to keep myself going!

Well I should head to bed!

Love Always

Sarah

Weight

I have been dealing with my weight since freshman year in high school. It has hit me since my birthday how much weight I have put on since senior year and it makes me angry on top of sad. Well....I don't wanna hear peoples judgements. I get enough on a daily basis much less from people I know. I know I have not always helped the cause but I wouldn't by no means call myself LAZY. I have been doing yoga and walking but I haven't lost a pound......sad which is why sometimes I just dont care. I know it will always be a struggle till probly the day I die.

Maybe one day I will find something or someone that will actually push me to do what I need to do to loose the weight I am suppose to.......maybe just maybe!

Love Always

Sarah

Understanding Life!

I have been thinking about things a lot lately. I use to think I understood life as much as I could.....I believe I was wrong. I am NOT saying by any means that I am unhappy with life. I love life and how it turned out. What I am saying is....Life is like a open ended book that at one time I thought that I had read, well. Not to my surprise I think I was a very innocent girl until I realized that somethings happen for a reason that we don't understand at the time, in time we do understand of course after the fact as always.

There are a few things that have happened in my life that have made me choose the side roads that I have. I am not proud of some things I have done or people that I have pushed away from me, however I am responsible enough to understand what I have done. I also have learned from everything I have done......I do however stick to the fact that I have done everything in my life for a reason.

I might not be the same person I was 10 years ago but everyone changes and I believe it was for the best I have change. My views have changed about certain topics in the last year....I am not sure if this will be a good thing or not.


As one amazing women said.....  "Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." Marilyn Monroe

Birthday!!!

Well mine and the hubby's birthday is tomorrow.....its crazy to think we will be 23 already! This birthday will once again will be different due to no hubby here and me having no set plans of any kind (those of you who know me I am a planner) oh well tho! I am gonna take the day as it comes and hope friends show me they care enough to remember one of the fews days that mean something to me.

Love always

Sarah

Not getting my way!

So for what I believe is the first time I have not gotten my way. I have been trying to get clay to let me get  cable so I have something to do before work during the week. It didn't work he has no but he is smart enough to try to bargain with me. I am to think of something I would like if I would not be able to get cable...I just laughed there is so much I want especially for the house.

I have gotten him to let me paint the spare room and of course we actually agreed on the same color which is amazing in its self.

Love Always

Sarah

A little sad :(

Well once again the hubby will be gone on our birthday due to working outta town. It makes me a little sad because its one day we are able to celebrate together as our day.....it never feels like my birthday without him next to me since we meet! I know I have tons of friends and family that love me and are willing to spend the day with me.....its just not the same! I hate not having a bday wish come true :( I love you hubby!

Love Always

Sarah

Job?!

I have been on this kick lately that I would like to own my own bakery/coffee shop of course it would be a all natural and gluten free options bakery. Not sure it will ever happen but its a dream goal that I will be working towards as of right now!

Well I made it short and sweet......off to bed!

Love always

Sarah

*Sigh of relief*

Well I am a little less stressed at the moment....why you ask....well I finally went ahead and did the Nero implant yesterday. I was a little shocked at how it was done. I did get a rushing headache about than hour afterwards but I assumed it was due to the amount of medication going into my body at one time. My arm was a little sore and still kinda is today but that is a small amount to pay in the long run. I will not have to think about birth control for the next 2 1/2 years....one thing off my mind is like giving my brain a weeks vacation. I will also be very happy not to have to tell my husband "sorry I forgot to take my pill" I always felt so bad like.....I was always scared he would think I was doing it on purpose which I NEVER did.

That brings me to a funny topic. I wanna know how girls out there lie to their partners about taking birth control. I would feel so horrible if I would first lie to my husband then second try to trap him into something he is not ready for. OK I will answer the million dollar question.....Yes someday I would like to have a baby...that's SOMEDAY not anytime soon.....I refuse to force Clay into anything I believe he is not ready for.(I might have sorta kinda forced him into getting married a little earlier but I truly believed he was ready and wanted to. Had to throw that in there.) I guess it just be that I would never want to loose Clay and I know if I got pregers right now He would always think I did it on purpose or I allowed it to happen.....So now there will be no blame if I would get pregers. I know my mother wants to have grand babies so bad and sometimes I think I would disappoint her if I don't have kids but then again I know she loves me enough to understand that its not just my choice. I would also not want to bring a baby into this world when I could not give it everything it would want. I give total props to all the mothers in this world who always put their kids first and themselves last. I know as for right now I could not raise a baby without some regret of not living my youth. I know for a fact we would not be able to give that child everything that it ever wanted right now.....We are by no means pinch pennies but we are not prepared to feed another mouth(I already have to feed Clay which is like feeding 2 people). I however do not by any means doubt that our friends and family would help us out in anyway they could....That is why we love our family and friends but it is just really not an option at the moment.
I am done talking now that my hand hurts.

Love Always
Sarah

Thoughts!

Well I hate Sundays due to Clay leaves for work for the week. I have gotten so bored on Sunday nights!

Well I was thinking about how much I kinda don't like my job. I love helping people but I hate the hours I have to work. I wish I could work more like a 9 to 5 or 8 to 4. It would prevent me from sitting around all morning wishing I didn't have to go to work at 3. I also wish Clay made enough so I could work part time.....that will never happen. I sometimes think about what it would be like to work from home or if I actually got out my sewing machine and made bags to sell if I could reach that goal of dropping down to at least every other weekend at work. Once again reality hit me and I remember I lived in the real world. Maybe some day I can find something where I can work from home and set my own hours..........hopefully some day soonish.

I guess what I am saying is maybe now a days parents shouldn't push their kids to start working so young. By no means did my mother push me to work but I started young I kinda wish I didn't I wish I took that time to have fun and do what I wanted.

Love Always
Sarah

True Blood!!!

Well within the last week or so I have started to watch True Blood...I have to say I am hooked! I just finished season 2 and was thinking...I wish I could have a Bill a man that would be willing to die for me, come running when I am in danger, Love me even though it goes against all odds (I could go on and on)The truth is I kinda do or at least I think I do. I know for a fact Clay will stick up for me, he has defended me before towards men! The whole come running when I am in danger truth be told I don't live a wild life where I would ever be in danger where I couldn't save myself....I do think if he was able to he would come to my rescue if needed. Clay has loved me since the day we meet...He has always been on my side through the ups and downs.
So I would say I do have myself a bill well a more modern version of Bill within the whole vampire thing!!!

That's it for now!

Love always
Sarah

Sadness!

Well the Hubby just left for the week for work! I am happy due to him being excited to work some place they won't call him worthless or dumb. I am also not to worried because he is with a friend who works there as well. I can not lie it still hurts to see him pack up and leave knowing I won't be able to come home and roll over and kiss him goodnight, everyone has kinda bugged me by saying well its good time apart......Time away from my hunny is never good. It feels like I am loosing one of the only people I can vent to and he doesn't argue or put me down for what i feel at the time. *yea yea I know I am being mushy* I will be better by mid week I always am. I just hate how much time we have actually spent apart because of his work! It doesn't help that I do like being alone and when left alone all I do is think about things which usually make me feel down on myself sometimes.

BLAH......... new topic please!!!!!!

I was thinking at work today about ALOT of things. One thing being what do people see/ think when they look at me.  I had an ex boyfriend contact me after almost 7 years of not speaking. He expressed how lucky Clay is to have me.....my response was dumbfondness. We dated for almost 2 years and all you have to say to me now is you messed up and I am suppose to do what?!?! He stated how sorry he was that he let me go and wishes I could give him another chance someday.......Are you stupid? I am married! He seemed to think he would "better" for me then my Husband. I had to do all but to laugh at the statement. By the end of the conversation he stated "Your Husband is really lucky and I hope he doesn't ever mess up because if he does I will hurt him!" .............REALLY?.........I would love to 1. see him try to touch Clay 2. Clay treated me better in the first month then he ever did in the two years we were together.

Well that's my rant and sharing for the day.

Love Always
Sarah

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

What goes through my little head before bed!!!!!

I was sitting in bed with the Hubby last night and I started to think........How is it that the only person I can call my best friend (beside my family of course) is my Hubby. I understand that is how I can call him my love is because he is my best friend. I just dont understand how in my life he is the only person that is that close to me, that knows the ins and outs of me as a friend. I feel as if I have some amazing friends people I can truly talk to when I need it the most but no one that I would say is "like a sister" please don't take this the wrong way!
I have gone through my whole life just wanting two things really........A Husband which I finally have.......A Friend that knows more about me then I know about myself.........Which I think I only ever had once but that relationship has been pretty much been nonexistent for the last 5 years. I wondered last night is it my fault? Am I reaching for something that will never happen? Is it me that prevents this from happening........I could go on and on with questions that filled my head before falling asleep last night. I woke up this morning and the thought that crossed my mind was......Maybe it is just not the way my life was meant to be like maybe I was meant to just have this one main person in my life that serves a duel purpose that person being Clay.
Some of you I am sure are saying to yourself, She has wrapped her entire world into this man.....So what maybe I have but this man again besides my family has always been there for me through the down and up times always knowing what to say ,how to act to make me go from frown to laughing so hard I am crying. So yes I have wrapped myself into this world of Clay's Wife. Who is to say that my life would be any better if I had done what my "friends" at the time wanted me to do.

I guess my point is sure I don't have a group of girls that we can go out to lunch every Sunday but I do have a few girls that I can call when I am down and they do their best to pick me up and I have a husband that is and will be there for me no matter what. That is what I have to learn to love and accept as reality.

Love Always
Sarah!

Survey I got from a friend!!!!

You've been tagged; you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging 25 other victims. You have to tag me; so really, you just need 24 more people. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you, my friends.



1. What time did you get up this morning?

7:35 a.m.



2. How do you like your steak?

Meduim



3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Preditor



4. What is your favorite TV show?

Lark Rise To Candleford





5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

England!!!!



6. What did you have for breakfast?

Yoguart, lunch meat sandwhich



7. What is your favorite cuisine?

mexican



8. What foods do you dislike?

Sea Food due to being allergic



9. Favorite Place to Eat?

Texas Roadhouse



10. Favorite dressing?

Homemade mustard dressing





11. What kind of car do you drive?

Chrystal Intrpided



12. What are your favorite clothes?

Retro Dresses





13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

LA, Most of Europe



14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

1/2 empty



15. Where would you want to retire?

Some where different



16. Favorite time of day?

11pm or midnight....no one is around!



17. Where were you born?

Neenah, Wi



18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Baseball, Basketball



19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

I am sure no one will tag me!



20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

I am sure no one will tag me!



21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

Everyone that does respond



22. Bird watcher?

I like to watch them once in a while but I wont spend my saturday morning looking!



23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Depends if I had enough sleep....usually a night person!





24. Pets?

two cats



25. Any new and exciting news that you'd like to share?

I own a house



26. What did you want to be when you were little?

of gezzzz that is a lot of things, Teacher, Wife



27.Car accident?

yes twice




32. Any pet peeves?

smoking pregnant women ( this one was kelly's I agree 100%) People asking me to repeat myself more then once!





33. Favorite pizza toppings?

pineapple and ham or chicken and bbq



34. Favorite Flower?

Calia lillys



35. Favorite ice cream?

well I can't eat too much ice cream but I like butter peacan. Frozen yoguart I love blueberry



36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

Jack in the Box even tho there isn't one around me





37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

None got it on the first try



38. From whom did you get your last email?

my aunt Carol



39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Torrid or Lane Bryant



40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

bought a book I could have rented from the libray



42. Broccoli?

Yes please!


43. What was your favorite vacation?

Going to seattle with my Mother and cousin John to see my godfather!!!!!



44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

My Hubby!





45. What are you listening to right now?



Travie McCoy - Billionaire




46. What is your favorite color?

tie between......hot pink and red



47. How many tattoos do you have?

one



48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

not sure yet



49. What time did you finish this quiz?

3:41pm





50. Coffee Drinker?

Yes

Spending our House tax rebate and understanding how I became who I am!!!!!

Well I actually thought it would be hard for us to spend money on things. I guess I was wrong...it is hard for me to spend money on things. We first went and got a good dehumidifier for our basement. Then we went to sears and got a nice whirlpool duet set washer and dryer. It was fun picking out what I wanted with options I wanted......then my mouth went from smile to confusion. When I saw the end price with delivery and setup and haul away the old ones, I lost it. I looked at Clay and said "Is this really how people feel when they walk in and say I want that and don't really look at the price?" Clay had to keep asking me if I was ok. Well then the real fun started, We went to home depot to get some basic tools we need for around the house and power tools. I told Clay go ahead grab what you think we need I am not going to look at prices. I have to say I am very proud of my husband. A man that is usually the one saying you know that's a little high in price, walked around grabbing things saying we need it and its not earned money. The scary thing is after this day of spend money like mad people we still have a little over half of the money left to spend. Yes we plan on putting a chunk in the bank for "you never know." It just feels good to have a nest egg for once in our lives. I have to say I truly feel like an adult/ old maid. I have a husband,house,car, wonderful cats and a good job and I am only 22.

I think if my grandma was still alive today she would be very proud of how I have turned out. Thanks to my mother I have become a adult that believes she can do anything if I put my little mind to it! Thanks to my wonderful husband who has taught me I don't have to take peoples crap in life and stand up for myself. Thanks to those friends that have come and gone in my life it has shown me I can move on with life with or without people, shown me how mature I truly am. Thanks to those who never believed in me....you pushed me that much harder to prove you wrong. I have to say I think I have proven so many people wrong within the last year.


Without all these people I have loved,meet,hated and known my whole life I don't think I would be the adult I am today, So Thank You for being my motivation, back bone, rock and anchor!!!!!



Love Always
Sarah

What if ?????? True Faith

What if I never had meet my husband.........what would my life be like? Where would I be in life? What would I be doing? Would I still be the same person I am today......that is the heavy hitter of a question....Yes my mother helped me become who I am today but I also believe that my husband had a little help with that as well....He showed me how to not let anyone walk all over me...in the end he taught me how to become the person that will stand up for myself and thoses I love. Where as my mother made me the strong indepented person I have always been. I love them both that is no question( in two different ways if that is possible.)












So I got into a converstion with someone about how a person that is a every sunday church goer had passed judgement on me...stating how I am just a hipocrit and I shouldn't try to kid myself with being a christian. I become very upset with this due to that fact I don't truly find it christian like to pass judgement on a person faith. So just because I don't go to a building with others believers I am not a believer myself?????? I could be wrong but I don't think it makes me any less of a believer....as long as everyday I try my best to not sin....I do open my bible when I get a chance and remind myself of things. I don't know if many of you know but I did go to a church school till 8th grade....so yes I do remember some passages that I do remind myself of after I slip up or find myself lost. I understand going to church is important I just don't think God would look at my any different if I go if I feel like its just a place where they can take your money and make you feel like you are closer to God for 2 hours every week. Sorry if no one understands or thinks this is wrong.....this is how i feel or how i have understood the Bible.



Love Tons



Sarah

How to deal with problems within without hurting thoses around you!

I am uncertain if I can even state I can answer this question. If anyone has troubles with meeting new people and trusting people it would be yours truly. I have what I find to be a problem with somethings pushing people away when I find something I dislike about them......I have been trying within the last year to change this I truly have been trying. It seems to come as second nature to me.......as if I want to be alone on a weekend reading a book while everyone else is hanging out. I do believe some people have let me push them away without a fight without even a disagreement. Does that mean that they didn't really care in the first place or thought I would come around sooner or later....who knows well I never will know due to not talking to theses few people at one time I trusted. Lately I have been tested to the max with this. I will not name because I want to protect theses I love dearly. I got upset/ angry but I started to think....Is a friendship worth ending because I don't agree with something they do when I am not around? That would be the million dollar question in my life right now. I have and never will let myself push theses I have grown to love away anymore.
That is enough on that subject for now.
Love Tons
Sarah

UGH!!!!

Well tonight at work sucked due to this stupid tmj crap....it seems to cause me to clench my teeth when I am not paying attention. Which in turn gives me tooth pain and HUGE headaches that wont go away until I sleep them off which is hard to sleep when my whole fore head is throbbing.

Well I guess that is it for now as I don't want to write too much as my first blog.

I think this will help me vent without people getting mad at me for posting a thousand times on facebook. Sorry people I am truly a facebook addict.

Love tons
Sarah